Musings From a 3 Year Old

{On Different Kinds of People}

Mason: Mom, I don’t like kids who are weird.
Me: (horrified that my teachings of respect and acceptance of others has clearly not been heard, and terrified for his future life as a bully and crusher of dreams) Mace, I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. No one is “weird”, they’re just different. And different can be good! Different can be wonderful and unique and interesting, and all you need to do is spend some time with those people to learn that. Even if you hear other kids saying “That kid’s weird”, I want you to say “No, he’s just different”. Ok?
Mason: Ok, mom.
Me: So people aren’t weird, they’re different. Right?
Mason: (thinks about it) Well … some people.


{On Self-Awareness}
*About 10 minutes prior Mace had gotten in trouble for sticking his entire hand in the peanut butter jar (seriously, who does that?), and was now walking up to me, shoulders slumped and a hang-dog expression on his face*

Mason: Sorry mom. I’m really sorry. (big sigh and shrugs his shoulders). Sometimes I just put my fingers into things.


Awesome, buddy.

And speaking of 3 year olds, my particularly verbose one will be starting preschool in a little over a week. A week!   

He’s excited, and I’m nervous as hell. Nervous, I think, because this will be the first time someone other than a family member has taken care of him during the day, and nervous, I know, because some of the strange habits Jamie has taught him “because they’re funny” are now going to be made apparent to the general public.

Strange habits such as clapping his hands over his ears and screaming “Louuudd noiiiisessss!” at the top of his lungs whenever the room gets especially cacophonous (thank you, Anchorman and Steve Carell for that little bit of hilarity).  

Or strange habits such as cheering “Big clocks and Percy!!” every now and again at the dinner table.

Well Andra, that doesn’t sound too bad you say. Sure its a little odd, but nothing too out-there. What’s the problem with him saying “Big clocks and Percy!”?

And then you will actually hear the way my child pronounces “clocks” and “Percy”, and you will choke on your coffee and you will know.

Ok, I admit it … that last one is kinda funny.

But its funny for our house, not at preschool. God knows I don’t want him to be the weird (pardon me, different) child sitting there at the snack table, banging his fists on the table and shouting “Big cocks and pussy!!” in response to a teacher offering to open his yogurt tube.

Oh lord … what have we done?