Oh, Hello Again

Yes, there is a reason why Mason is sitting on the floor of my kitchen in only a diaper and a band-aid, and that reason, my friends, is Pee. Pee with a capital "P", because that has been the focus of my past few days (aside from the ever-so-glamourous task of hanging my head over a white receptacle that was not meant for my head, but thats another story).

Since his round of stomach flu, Mace has been struggling to produce many wet diapers in a day which of course has Jamie and I in a panic-stricken frenzy. We've become The Wet Diaper Police, constantly poking and prodding at freshly-removed ones, holding them up to the light, sniff-testing and all sorts of other vile and disgusting experiments that may or may not involve all five senses. While we're doing this Mason will sit there with a reproachful look on his face that says "And I'M the gross one?". Suck it, kid.

Just to increase the fun-factor, Mace has also decided to add refusal of the bottle combined with refusal of most liquids and solids to the mix so yup -- we're livin' the dream over here I tell ya! Things are going swimmingly!

Luckily we had a previously-scheduled doctor's appointment today so I was able to unload all my worries and novice parenting concerns on her (as per usual, yay!). And the doctor, most-likely aware by now how annoying I can be when freakin', sent Mace for his first set of bloodwork. He took it like a trooper, only crying for the first couple of seconds and then reassuming his reproachful look to stare down the two nurses working on him.

When we got home I realized it'd been all of 30 minutes since I last pee-checked, so in I went for the kill and found the diaper sadly lacking in the urine department. For some unknown reason I decided to change it anyways, and while I was in the exact middle of this procedure (you know, those couple of thrill-seeking seconds when your kid's free as a bird, no diaper, breeze drifting across the torso and all that jazz) he did his first full heavy pee in about 4 days. Of course he still had the top-half of his clothes on, and the pee went.everywhere.

And hence, how my child wound up on the kitchen floor sans clothes save for a diaper and a band-aid. And yes, I knooowwww there are a whole bunch of y'all who live in warm climates and see babies in just diapers all the time. I'm from Canada. My city just had its 3rd day in a row of snow AT THE BEGINNING OF MAY. We don't see unclothed babies very often. I didn't even know what one looked like until Mason was born and I was all "What the hell is that thing? And where are it's pants?".

Signed,
Andra
"Perpetuating Myths About Canadians Since 2010"

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